I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night
really punk?? really? wanna fight about it?? wanna cuddle about it?? wanna maybe makeout about it??
*at job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I’ve done is absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man